The Devil's Dictionary:  




ABASEMENT, n.  A decent and customary mental attitude in the presence of wealth or power.  Peculiarly appropriate in an employee when addressing an employer.






ABDOMEN, n.  The temple of the god Stomach, in whose worship, with sacrificial rights, all true men engage.  From women this ancient faith commands but a stammering assent.  They sometimes minister at the altar in a half-hearted and ineffective way, but true reverence for the one deity that men really adore they know not.  If woman had a free hand in the world's marketing the race would become graminivorous.




More to come, but you get the idea.